Falling in reverse

So many mistakes I make in one hours time. Screaming stop inside, dies my logical mind. pour me a glass of my own insanity to fuel the buzz God gave me. Too fast, too furious are the chemicals I run on. Make Vin Dessil cough on my dust. I once was a logical thing. Respected and like, full of knowledge and rules. Where am I now? On the old skid marks of a sheen machine? Rehab Queen or fashion scene? Am in a club full of fast beats and flashing lights or is my mind on a tab dancing in the middle of a class? Blood rushes to slow, my brain has already past out in the gutter. Filthy little whore I am. Lying to my friends scream at the parents. I'm a bitch and I am falling. Falling in reverse into a pile of cocaine. I don't mind if those lines are so close I cut my self on the razor. But the sick thing is I'm not on these drugs. I bare no Lohan excuses or rehab pass. I was born on drugs and only more drugs can help. I was born this cigar skin filled veins carrying vodka to my heart made of acid and abrain that can only be describe by LSD. But I have never taken these drugs, not once in my life. Yet every month or so I make the once around me accountable for this high. I want to be so high during these times I fall in reverse of a building. Why am I a burden? Why is this part of me?