As the veil is lifted, the world is finally colorful again...

There are these moments in movies where something good happens and the world opens up. Think to the movie "The Eye", when the doctor takes off Jessica Alba's eye bandages and for the first time in years she see the world. Or in "2012", when they open the windows of the ships to see the bright sky and the promise for the future, which they thought they would never see.

I had one of these experiences today.

For months, the promise of an amazing song that would change our world was rumored. The signs of it coming were all around but it felt like it was a bad dream. The kind of bad dream where it is only bad because you know how improbable it is. I felt like I was on one of those closed up boats in "2012". Packed in for weeks and months with strangers and little hope for anything else. As most would in situations of hopelessness, I felt lost. I felt other feelings too: sadness, angry, agitation,self loathing, and anxiety. I searched for others to guide me, help me. But none came.

As my days became harder and harder, I felt that I was drowning in my life. I felt myself disappearing into the backround, I started caring less and less about my looks or health. I didn't feel worthy to live on this planet. I felt like I needed to fit in but I couldn't. Because I don't fit in to this world. I was spiraling completely downward.

As promised this song was coming faster and faster through these days, and it was just in time. As my S.O.S. flashed brighter and brighter, my mood slipped farther and farther. I decided not to stay up for the arrival of help, and laid in bed contimplating the end of me and everything else. Soon, my mind fell into sleep.

4:05am EST: My bedroom Febuary 11, 2011
I wake suddenly as if someone has shaken me. Disoriented, I look at the clock on my radio to see the time: Five minutes past when the song was to premire. I rush for my headphones and turn on iHeart Radio to the station, praying I had not missed it. I heard a heart beating and the faint sound of the songs past...my heart began to beat insync with that of the radio. There I sat for about five more minutes, clips of every song and this heart, clutching my pillow as if the song would come as a blow to the face. Then a whisper:

"Little Monsters...Are you still listening?" A strange man asked through my headphones.

I said yes through my teeth so not wake my mother downstairs. It began, I knew not at the time that what had started was my life...

"I'm beautiful in my own way, Because God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track, Because baby I was Born this Way."

The song played through twice and the whole time I cried. I cried for this was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. I did not sleep after that, I sang to myself and waited for it to play again. Bathing in the raising sun and my new feeling of happiness. From here I feel like I shall conquer mountains. I feel the confidence flow through my viels faster than my own blood. I want to be happy. Lady Gaga, the prophet, woke me this morning and took me to church....Amen Hooker.

"Don't be drag, just be a queen
Whether you're broke or evergreen
You're black, white, beige, chola descent
You're lebanese, you're orient
Whether life's disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
'Cause baby, you were Born This Way"